Long Time No Post
Hello Everyone! I know there has been an extensive hiatus from our posting and details about our adoption journey I’m sorry for not writing more often. Nevertheless, here we are, and I want to share with all of you some updates on our adoption journey:
Waiting- For the most part, you can say our adoption journey is still about waiting. We are up-to-date with all of our documentation, our forms, and details. We are just waiting patiently to be matched with a child. We knew this would be the longest part of the process, and it just continues to be difficult as we wait patiently for the process to proceed.
Haiti- I am not sure how much everyone has kept up with the news, and unfortunately a lot of news isn’t shared nationally as much as it should. However, the country we are adopting from, Haiti, is continuing to go through a lot of turmoil. The government still has no elected leader or president, and gangs have taken over a lot of the country. Specifically, in Port a Prince, the capital, the city is run by gang territories, creating a lot of havoc. For many families, this has made it difficult or impossible to function normally or even obtain food for daily meals. Many schools continue to be closed, while some are slowly opening. Businesses struggle as international relations worry about the safety of doing business with the country. Here are a few articles that have helped me know a bit more about the situation in Haiti:
Haiti Ambassador Zoom Conversation with HCO (Haitian Christian Outreach, an organization we support)
Latest Update within Haiti
All of these articles and videos give a glimpse into the issues Haiti is dealing with. While it may be easy to think “why don’t you just adopt from somewhere else?”, we still feel called to care for our child, and to do our best to protect them as best we can.
Preparation- Amanda and I are going through a 200 level course for Adoption Preparation with a training organization- Families are Forever. This is just helping us prepare for the arrival of our child. We have also begun working on learning and understanding Haitian Creole. Using apps and reading books have helped us grow significantly in our learning. We want to be able to speak with our child, so they can know that we love them and care for them.
Finances- We continue to receive support from our amazing friends and family financially. We have raised over $40K of our $50K goal of money. This just lets us know that we will be able to complete the good work that God is already doing in this process, and are excited to see it through. Thank you for all who have contributed!
Opportunity- Lastly, with a change to our household layout, our adoption process will now be able to open up for either adopting a girl (which is what we were limited to) or to adopt a boy as well. We are not partial on the gender, so opening up to a boy or girl may help us get matched with our child sooner.
When you put everything down at once, there does appear to be more details to share than what you think. What you need to know is that our adoption process is still continuing, and we are still being patient. We are active in hopes and prayers that we will be matched with a child soon. Thank you all for your continued encouragement and prayers, as they are so needed. Hopefully we can get back to updating you with less than 10 months between blog posts. Thank you all!
Happy Haitian Flag Day!
Why hello and Happy Haitian Flag Day! It’s amazing to think that a year ago today, on this national Haitian holiday, we shared publicly that we had engaged in our adoption adventure. It has been such a blessing to traverse this journey, but to also feel the support of so many of you. Thank you! Merci!
You may be wondering what’s the latest and if we have any updates to share. I (Amanda) told Thomas months ago I was working to write a blogpost update and he’s been patiently waiting ever since Thanks for your patience, too!
So here’s the latest: we are fully approved and our documents are registered with the Haitian government This might not sound like a big deal, but it is huge!! So many documents, so many conversations, so many appointments, so many notarizations, so many certifications, and mail deliveries that were finally successful. It had felt like a marathon and then some. So now we (try and patiently) wait, as it could be years - yes, you read that correctly - before we hear back if there is even a child match for us to consider. We will wait as long as it takes. Our child is worth waiting for and we believe our family is meant to be together.
It’s been so awesome to see many pieces come together throughout this journey. One of which, that people are usually very curious about, is the finances it takes to navigate adoption. I’m happy to report we have reached 69% of our fundraising goal. Hooray!!! So many of you have made that possible and we could not have gotten to this point without your fiscal stewardship. Thank you for your generosity! Many thanks to those who have made one-time gifts and to those who have participated by making purchases through a fundraiser. Special thanks to my Mom (Barb) and my friend Lauren for hosting fundraisers with Vitrine on Main & Noonday Collection, respectively. So many of you have given of your resources to help make bringing our child home a reality and it is so humbling. To be perfectly honest with you, there are so many variables in the adoption journey that the financial aspect has not been top of my mind. The cost is very tangible but I’ve known with great faith that if this is meant to be, which I believe God has called us to do this and be obedient in this calling, that the dollars would come together. Thank you so very much for helping make this happen.
“In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”
A dear friend of mine reminded me of a Bible verse this week that has brought them great peace and it has done the same for me, too. Here it is: “In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.” (Psalm 5:3 NIV) I currently have this verse on my phone wallpaper as a constant reminder that we are known by God and we can wait before Him expectantly. May we continue to do so all the time, but specifically pertaining to bringing our child home.
Thank you for your partnership. Thank you for your prayers and encouraging words. Thank you for loving this Pauko Party of Five. Much love to you and many thanks for walking with us! As we continue to patiently wait, we will gladly share updates with you as they become available.
A Heart of Thankfulness
In light of the season, we just want to thank you all for your continued support, encouragement, and guidance through adoption. It has been so encouraging to receive notes, phone calls, and continued prayers that have meant so much to us. It has never been more evident than in the past couple weeks. A couple weeks ago, we were told about a close contact of ours testing positive for COVID-19. Out of an abundance of caution, we went to get tested for the coronavirus. Unfortunately, both girls and I (Thomas) tested positive. Fortunately, the girls were not nearly as affected as I was, but being forced to stay inside the home for 10 days was no picnic for them. During that time, there were so many people that called to check in, send emails, send activities for the girls to keep them busy, and sent so much amazing food that we haven’t had to worry about a meal at all. That part has been awesome and we are glad to now be out of quarantine. I am so thankful for our community, church, family, neighbors, and friends that not only surround us, but will surround our child as they make their way home. Thank you so much.
Adoption Update: Since our last update, most of our work has involved just being patient. As far as our process goes, our Home Study and Dossier are complete. Right now, these documents are with the federal government for authentication, in which afterwards will be sent to Haiti to begin processing in country. Patience and prayer continues to abound.
Fundraising Update: We have been unbelievably blessed to continue our fundraising, growing to $30,540 raised. Again, we are overwhelmed by the support and backing of our community. I especially want to acknowledge our amazing church, Park Community Church. Years ago, they wanted to not only talk about the value of caring for the orphan, but invested heavily in that value by starting a grant program for those adopting in the church. It has created a church-wide culture supporting adoption which brings a huge value, one that we are proud to be a part of, so thank you.
We are thankful for this journey and we are thankful for each of you. I hope you have a great Thanksgiving. God bless.
All Systems Go
We have some very exciting news to share with all of you- this past week our home study was finally completed and approved!!! What this means is simply that we have checked all of the boxes that qualifies us to be able to adopt. We now send our home study and application to the U.S. Government for approval, so that after its approval we can send it to Haiti to be approved and put in the queue to adopt a child.
While this feels like we crossed a finish line, the truth is that it really is only the beginning. It is like we are preparing for a launch into space and we have just gotten done with all of our system checks, the engine is ready, the astronauts are set, and all of the pieces are in place before the launch of something big. But for us, instead of having a system clearance and move into launch, it is like a system clearance, start the engine, and wait a year…or 2….or 5.
Nevertheless, we made a big step towards our
adoption. We are that much closer to bringing our child home. Let’s get this engine off the ground!
Asking for Help
I want to start out this post by apologizing for how long it has been since our last post. This past month the Paukovitz Family has been doing some serious renovation. We decided to take on replacing our hardwood floors ourselves. Although we did heavy research and preparation, this has been an unbelievably hard project, leaving all of us exhausted. Now that we are at the end though, one lesson has continued to ring in our families’ ears- the value of help from others.
I cannot imagine where we would be without the help of others. First- simply for those who have done hardwood floors before and took the time to write articles, make videos, and give advice for me. My research is only successful because there were others willing to share wisdom. Then there are those who willingly helped with their time in energy. I think of our friend Tim who worked with us laying down the new hardware and allowing us to use his truck. I think of my brother David, who let us use some essential tools and then spent days with me pulling up the old hardwood, cleaning up the mess, and helping lay the new hardwood to where the wood would actually be straight. Then I also think of Mark, Amanda’s brother, who spent countless hours working hard, never complaining, and spending the most time on this project with me.
Everyone has a role to play when we work to achieve something significant. I would like to ask for your help and participation in our adoption journey today by considering to financially contribute. For our adoption, the total costs between our adoption agency, home study, requirements by two governments (Haiti and US), travel, and documentation will be around $50,000. Although we have the margin and space for another child to come into our home, we realize that we do not have the finances to cover the expense of the adoption on our own. We would like to ask our friends and family to consider supporting us during this time. As of today, we have been able to raise over $6,000 and we have been so blessed by your encouragement and support. If you would consider helping us during these starting months to get through the cost of adoption, it will enable Amanda and I to use our personal finances to prepare for the arrival of another child. Any amount from $10, $100, to $1,000 would make a huge impact and help us get that much closer to bringing our child home. You can give here and if you have any questions about the process or where the money is going, feel free to shoot me an email, and I would be happy to catch up with you. Thank you all for considering partnering with us on this journey. We appreciate your willingness to read this website and following our story.
Just Do What I Ask
It’s the thought that runs through my mind unfortunately too often. I think “if everyone would simply just do what I ask them to, this would work out perfectly…” I want the project at work to go well, I want the home repair to come out nice, I want the Chicago Bears to finally get a competitive team! So often, I think, without saying it, that I know what is best and have the solution to whatever problem is in front of me.
This adoption process has had a few of those moments for me where I just wish people would do what is requested of them. I wish people would respond to emails, I wish getting a passport was a simple process, or I wish the Commonwealth of Virginia would be willing to certify a notarized document like any other state. The one that really hit hard for me was when a delivery company, whose whole business I thought was built on deliverying packages, was unable to deliver highly essential documents to our address. We took all the necessary precautions- prepaid extra for the documents to arrive, required a signature, checked the address. Yet, despite all of the preparations, it still was not delivered. For a week, I was just dumbfounded as to how this could happen. Fortunately for us, a good Samaritan came by and delivered our misdelivered package that somehow ended up at their residence instead of ours. And my thoughts just ran to “why can’t everyone just do what they are supposed to do?”
And as I sit here wishing things would go smoothly and orderly, I realize that I sound more like Captain Von Trapp trying to keep order in his family rather than a loving father. And then I realize that with our current girls, and with our new child, whenever they come home, there will be plenty of times that they will not do what I wish they would do. They may act out, misbehave, or struggle to comprehend everything around them. My rebuttal cannot simply be “Don’t you realize I have gone through all the training required? I am doing exactly what the books told me to do, so why don’t you behave the way I want you to!?!?”
The world is a much better place because plenty of people chose not to listen to me and to make their own decisions. Our household is much more graceful, beautiful, and welcoming than it ever could be because my every command has not been obeyed. Although I wish the best, it is better to know that I am not omnipotent and definitely don’t have all the answers. I need to be reminded constantly that, despite my best efforts, I do not know what is best. Sometimes, just being present, patient, and asking for forgiveness can be enough. The great thing is that I know the One who is omnipotent and does have all the answers, and I am putting this process of adoption, of parenthood, and of life in general in His loving hands. Man, it feels good to have a loving Father.
You Might Wonder, Why Adoption?
We have been humbled and encouraged by the outpouring of love as we have shared news of our adoption journey. Seriously, thank you to each person who has reached out to us. We have an incredibly long road ahead it seems, but knowing you’re journeying with us lifts us up. Many thanks to you!
So you might be wondering, why adoption? To some who have known us a long time, this makes total sense because we have been talking about this desire for a long time. For some though, you may be wondering why the Pauko Party is taking this route. I (Amanda) remember long ago, someone I’m close to endearingly asked (what I believe was a well intended question), “Why wouldn’t you just try to have another kid?” I want to make something very clear - every person/family’s journey is specifically crafted for them and I’m not going to make a superlative statement on behalf of all people. However, I will make a statement on behalf of this Pauko Party for our next step. Adoption is something we believe God calls us to through His Word. An example of this is found in Isaiah 1:17 ESV, “Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause.” We believe that God calls us to bring justice for the fatherless. I heard this quote by David Platt that really moved me years ago: “I always questioned if I was called to adopt, but then I realized no child was ever called to be an orphan.” For the reasons mentioned and so many more (I could talk to you all day, you know it’s true 😊), this is why our family is pursuing adoption. We know our child was not called to be an orphan and we long to bring them justice and love. We don’t know our child yet so we’re not going to speak to the reasons why they will be available for adoption. However, we believe God has called our family to be together and we’re so excited to see how that happens. There is such an incredible need worldwide for children to be brought into the loving arms of a forever family. We know we can’t eliminate the orphan crisis, but we want to come alongside our child and welcome them with open arms. Also, if we can share our journey in hopes that those who may have thought about adoption can learn more through our adventure, we will gladly do so.
“I always questioned if I was called to adopt, but then I realized no child was ever called to be an orphan.”
~David Platt
Not gonna lie, we have already seen that this journey is not a cake walk. The paperwork journey alone is an immense struggle. You also have to think about the fact that even kids adopted from the best possible circumstances will have experienced some level of trauma. That’s a lot, and we are preparing ourselves for that. Despite the challenges, we know that our love already overflows for a child that we do not know. This was the first Mother’s Day that I didn’t feel like all my kids were with me. It was an unexpected notion that left me feeling, amongst other things, hopeful. We long for the day that, Lord willingly, we will bring our child home and our family will be together. Our kiddo has already changed our lives in the best possible way. What a blessing that we get to be a part of their family!
Where are we?
Are we there yet? How much further? Can we stop? If you have ever taken a trip with a kid, you have probably experienced this line of questioning. It is understandable. On long trips, there are so many points where you just want to be at the destination. For our adoption, it definitely feels like that. We have not been on this journey very long, but I am already thinking “Are we there yet? How much longer?” I want to thank all of you who have reached out to Amanda and I as we went public with our exciting news. It is so encouraging to know we are not on this journey alone, and that so many others are with us. The most common question that I have gotten though, has been, “so where are you in the process?” Not only where, but what does the process actually look like. So I figured I would give everyone a quick run down of where we are, where we are heading, and the process it takes to get there.
Our Timeline:
2007- When Amanda and I first started talking about adopting (Yes, seriously). I know it is crazy to think about, but we have been dreaming about this for a long time.
2013- We welcomed Abigail. I know this seems odd to add on our adoption journey, but she was the start of us becoming a family. It is special because it isn’t just Amanda and I who are adopting, but our whole family is involved.
2017- Here comes Kyla. A second perspective, a totally different experience, and one of the most fun and upbeat hearts you will find.
July 2020- Amanda and I apply for a domestic adoption. This was the direction we thought we were going, so we applied with an agency nearby to help us go through domestic adoption.
December 2020- We were informed that the adoption agency that we applied through and were waiting on was closing their adoption program indefinitely. This was a really devastating part of our journey. Here we were, thinking our process was plugging away and we were waiting and being patient. Next thing we know, we are back to square one. Definitely a hard time for us.
January 2021- Engaged All God’s Children International (AGCI) in the adoption process. This great organization aligned a lot with our values and had a program specifically for Haiti, which we were very excited about.
February 3, 2021- Signed Contract/Application with AGCI and made our first program payment to adopt in Haiti. This was really when the rubber met the road, and we were finally committed and had to start getting to work!
February 15, 2021- Engaged with Adoption Center of Illinois (ACI) to start our Home Study. For all adoptions, a Home Study is the process of just making sure all individuals in the family, the home, and the surrounding community is fit to take in a child. Sometimes this is done with the adoption agency, but AGCI is based out of Washington and is not licensed to do home studies in Illinois. ACI was an organization we connected with, liked that they were in the city of Chicago, and has been good to work with.
Currently- Working on our Home Study and working on our Dossier. A Dossier “is a compilation of official documents, much like a portfolio, providing details about an adoptive family.” (From AGCI’s Packet). Our Dossier is basically our whole lives wrapped up in one big package for the Haitian government to review and recommend whether or not a family is a good fit for a child. Gathering all of the information for the Home Study and Dossier has been crazy (from Doctor’s medical exams to financial statements. From our dogs vaccination reports to letters of recommendation), it has been encouraging to know they go through these details to make sure that our child will be loved, cared for, and blessed by being placed with our family. We have made our way through the majority of the documents, are waiting to schedule interviews, and then visits for our home study. Once the home study is complete, we will be able to add it to our Dossier packet.
What is Next:
Apply for an I-800A- This is the US Government application that is essential for international adoption. Once the home study is complete, we can apply for it.
Send in the Dossier- Our Dossier will be reviewed by AGCI. Once approved, it will be translated into Creole to be sent to Haiti’s government and be reviewed by IBESR (the Haitian Central Authority for adoptions).
Wait- 2-3 YEARS!!!
Get a Match- Once we are presented with a match for consideration, we will have a few days to review the information from the agency and accept the child’s placement.
First Trip to Haiti- Our first trip to see our child will be a 2 week trip, where we meet with a social worker and our child and be observed by IBESR.
Adoption Process: 12-15 months- Once approved, it will take time for the process to get through the courts in Haiti. Once we receive our Act of Adoption, the child will need to get final approval by the Ministry of Interior and obtain a passport for the child.
United States Visa Process: 6-8 Weeks- Once everything is cleared on the Haitian side, we can apply for a visa for our child and schedule our second trip.
Second Trip to Haiti: 5 days- This is the trip we go to pick up our child and bring them home.
Post- Adoption Process: 5 years- We will be required to follow up from our adoption with details of the adoption, how the child is progressing, and just how our family is doing for the next 5 years after bringing our child home.
So that is our entire adoption journey. If this was a road trip, we probably made it to our first bathroom break. If you really want more details about adopting in Haiti, you can look at all of the requirements and process from the US Department of State’s Website. If you managed to make it this far in a really informative post, my hats off to you. I promise our posts won’t be this long very often. If you want to make sure to keep up with all of our updates, feel free to subscribe to our newsletter which will update you everytime there is a new post. Thank you!
The Journey of a Thousand Miles
It all begins with an idea.
When Amanda and I were dating, we got pretty serious fairly quickly. We met at a wedding, started “dating” within a few weeks, and was daily talking on the phone for hours talking to one another. Our relationship was long distance, so our options other than the few times we got to physically be together was to either talk or talk some more. After hours and hours of conversations, you really get to know someone. During those conversations, we dreamed about the potential of our relationship, and even talked about having a family. From the very beginning, we talked about having a desire to adopt. We were not sure how or when or where, but knew that God was starting something in our hearts.
Look how young we were!
Fast forward to 2020. God has truly blessed us with a lot of those dreams that we had discussed all those years ago. A home, two amazing daughters, a crazy dog, good jobs, and even fulfilling a passion to plant churches here in Chicago. Even with all of that, Amanda and I started down the path of adoption that we long ago dreamt of. We started researching adoption agencies, ones that would be a good fit for us, and would help us bring home the newest member of our family. Although it has already taken some very unexpected turns (saving that story for another time), we are so excited that God has been overseeing this adventure, and enjoying being in the thick of it.
To give you a quick glimpse on where we are: we signed a contract this past February to adopt from Haiti and have sent in the first payment to our Adoption agency. We have since been working to gather a lot of legal documents, have gone through education training on adoption, and are engaging in our Home Study to make sure our family and home is approved for adding another child. This should take about 6 months. I can give a little more clarity on each of these steps with continual posts, but for now, just know we are at the beginning of what will most likely end up being a 2-5 year process.
For us, the crazy thing to consider is that right now, somewhere in Haiti, our child could already be there, waiting for their forever family. And here we are, ready for them to come home - but we have to wait. The thought can make this big guy start to tear up knowing my child does not have their mom or dad there to advocate for them. However, I am grateful for the process, for the red tape, and for all of this work because 1. it protects children from going to families/individuals/homes that should not have children present, and 2. it forces me to trust that God is protecting and looking after it all. So I will take it one step at a time, and today is one more step closer to my kid. The journey of a thousands miles starts with a single step, and we are taking ours.