Just Do What I Ask
It’s the thought that runs through my mind unfortunately too often. I think “if everyone would simply just do what I ask them to, this would work out perfectly…” I want the project at work to go well, I want the home repair to come out nice, I want the Chicago Bears to finally get a competitive team! So often, I think, without saying it, that I know what is best and have the solution to whatever problem is in front of me.
This adoption process has had a few of those moments for me where I just wish people would do what is requested of them. I wish people would respond to emails, I wish getting a passport was a simple process, or I wish the Commonwealth of Virginia would be willing to certify a notarized document like any other state. The one that really hit hard for me was when a delivery company, whose whole business I thought was built on deliverying packages, was unable to deliver highly essential documents to our address. We took all the necessary precautions- prepaid extra for the documents to arrive, required a signature, checked the address. Yet, despite all of the preparations, it still was not delivered. For a week, I was just dumbfounded as to how this could happen. Fortunately for us, a good Samaritan came by and delivered our misdelivered package that somehow ended up at their residence instead of ours. And my thoughts just ran to “why can’t everyone just do what they are supposed to do?”
And as I sit here wishing things would go smoothly and orderly, I realize that I sound more like Captain Von Trapp trying to keep order in his family rather than a loving father. And then I realize that with our current girls, and with our new child, whenever they come home, there will be plenty of times that they will not do what I wish they would do. They may act out, misbehave, or struggle to comprehend everything around them. My rebuttal cannot simply be “Don’t you realize I have gone through all the training required? I am doing exactly what the books told me to do, so why don’t you behave the way I want you to!?!?”
The world is a much better place because plenty of people chose not to listen to me and to make their own decisions. Our household is much more graceful, beautiful, and welcoming than it ever could be because my every command has not been obeyed. Although I wish the best, it is better to know that I am not omnipotent and definitely don’t have all the answers. I need to be reminded constantly that, despite my best efforts, I do not know what is best. Sometimes, just being present, patient, and asking for forgiveness can be enough. The great thing is that I know the One who is omnipotent and does have all the answers, and I am putting this process of adoption, of parenthood, and of life in general in His loving hands. Man, it feels good to have a loving Father.
